


Memories

by BrideOfDeath



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Caring Mycroft Holmes, Established Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Friendship, Greg is Sweet, M/M, Mycroft Feels, Mycroft-centric, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 10:33:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13925322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrideOfDeath/pseuds/BrideOfDeath
Summary: Mycroft Holmes is referred to as "Ice Man".He is a cold, unfeeling maschine they say.Little do they know...





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> So it's really just a rant From Mycroft's perspective.   
> Aka the reasons why he shut everyone out.

Today I saw him from my car. I saw my once “best” friend. 

The moment I laid my eyes on him the world seemed to stop.

All those walls I built over the years shattered into pieces. My cold, calm and confident mask fell down.

For a second I felt like the same weak, afraid little teen I was when we parted. The chubby, patheic loser who cared too much and this almost became their downfall. The "freak".

It was only glance his way and my heart began to beat harder, quicker, my face felt hot and all the emotions washed over me. 

I remembered that I loved him once, that I cared about him. 

I remembered how we lost contact, and how I had to shut him out of my life and lock the door forever. Even if it hurt. Because he hurt me more. 

When I had enough I stated we won’t be friends ever again.   
I haven’t changed my mind since.

I did notice however that I still care. Even if I say that I don't. We should have short this out properly. 

I saw him but he couldn't even see me. He was totally unaware of my presence, just as he alway had been. Even back then when he looked into my eyes. This time he didn't see me.

But I did, always have. I see and I observe. 

It’s hard to think about that this is what he is now, a painful reminder of my past, of who I was once. Someone who never mattered, someone unwanted and never good enough.

Someone who can be easily replaced. 

But this is not who I am. This is what others wanted me to believe and nothing else.

Because I matter, I am wanted and I am good enough. 

And I cannot be replaced. Not anymore. 

I use my work and my facade as a shield. It gives me a feeling of self-importance, it helps me protect my family, and myself. The cold professionism helps me cope, power makes me feel safe. 

When it's not enough I have one more thing. A person much more important than that. 

My once best friend made me think that caring is not an advantage. 

My partner, Gregory Lestrade made me realise that it can be.


End file.
